Much to my chagrin, I found myself caught in a rather animated discussion of the S word in Ephesians 5:22 and Colossians 3:18. The conversation weighed heavily in my spirit that it gave me a natural (or carnal)headache. After researching the scripture and saying a series of prayers,I decided to write about it.

Instead of stirring the hypothetically illuminated members of the submission case, I consciously chose to take an alternative path:leadership.Leadership encompasses a myriad of aspects; however, for the purpose of the subject at hand,we will explore on the home front.

Everyone has their own style of leadership.You will find that one style will be more dominant than another. As the steward and leader of the household, the husband must chose his leadership styles wisely to obtain the desired effect to keep his household aligned with the Word of God.

This piece is a theoretical approach to aide in the efficient day-to-day operations of a Christian household. Although there are many ways to run a household,the ideal way is as holy and peacefully as possible. Men have innate leadership abilities.

God placed him as the head of the household. He is the big cahuna. He has to claim that position and be wise when dealing with the people under your roof. Women have great malleability skills. They were designated by God as the nurturers and the incubation for the procreation of mankind. However, some of women have evolved into piranhas and leaders due to the lack of God-given leadership in their lives. Over time,they have developed a tough skin.

There are three different leadership styles: authoritative, participative, and delegative. There are ways to implement these leadership styles into your Christian life to encourage, reprove, and lead according to the Word of God.

The Authoritative style is used when the husband tells the wife what he wants done and how he wants it done. This style is only appropriate when the man has been given direct orders from God and has all the information to deal with an issue,he is short on time,and his wife is highly motivated.

This is not a vehicle for yelling, using derogatory language, or leading by threats and abusing his power. Those tactics are as emotionally abusive and have no place in a leaders repertoire. Use it sparingly because the over-utilization thereof could result in resentment.

In the participative style, the husband involves the wife (and sometimes children)in the decision making process. He introduces the dilemma or issue and they jointly decide what to do and how to do it. However, the husband is the final decision making authority.

Using this style is not a sign of weakness; rather it is a sign of strength that his wife and family will respect. The husband is not expected to have all the answers. Using this style is of mutual benefit it allows the family to feel included in the decision making process and helps the man to make better decisions as a man.

The husband allows the wife to make the decision in the delegative style. However,he is still accountable to God; therefore,responsible for the decision that she makes. This style is used when the husband is confident that his wife is able to analyze the situation and determine what needs to be done and how to do it. The man cannot do everything!

No woman is intentionally resentful of the husband being the head of the house. However,she wants her husband to be confident in her abilities to lead. She does want to be loved, but she also wants to maintain some sense of independence. Ecccesiastes 3:1 says there is a time and season for all things. The same scripture can be applied to leadership styles. There is a time for exerting authority;there is a time to listen and consider the recommendation of others prior to making decisions, and a time to trust and delegate. A man must lead with confidence, which will require much prayer and seeking the face of God.

My theory,in essence,makes a lot of sense; but,the two variables are personality and human nature. There is no cookie cutter standard for running a household. The man must be lead by the Spirit.

Proverbs 3:6 reads: In all your ways acknowledge him [God] and he shall direct your path. The Spirit will guide a Godly man on how to choose his words and direct him on the suitable approach to maximize peace and minimize resentment in your home.