Have you recently encountered conflict in your career or in your life? You are not alone. Conflict touches all of us at some point in our lives. The question is, how do we resolve it? Actually, resolving conflict is not all that hard when you look at it from a different point of view. In other words, when you look at trying to shift the conflict instead of trying to resolve the conflict, you will have greater success. Why? Because shifting the conflict comes from within you, and you can control you. Resolving a conflict involves more than one person, meaning others you have no control over. In order to shift the conflict, you have to shift you. That sounds easy enough, doesn't it? There are four steps involved in shifting a conflict. Anyone who follows these steps will definitely have success in coming to a final resolution. The hardest part is being honest with yourself. Can you do that? Sure you can! 1. Assess Your Situation In 4-5 sentences, describe what's going on. What's the big picture here? What is the energy surrounding it? Is it calm or will all hell break loose at any moment? On a scale of 1-10, 1 being the worst situation ever and 10 being the best, how would you rate this one? 2. What are the facts? Leaving all emotion and opinion out of it, list all of the facts. Right now, it doesn't matter what you think about it or how you feel about it. All that matters is you know what really happened. Write a realistic summary of the facts. To help you in this process, answer these questions: When did it start?
How did it start?
What was your part in this?
Who else was involved?
How did you get to this point? 3. Look at it from the opposite point of view. If the issue is with another person or entity (company, organization, group, etc.), look at it from their side. As far as they are concerned, what happened? If no one else was involved, then look at it from the opposite side anyway. I know this is an extremely difficult step to take, but this process gives you a new perspective, which is exactly what you need right now to shift the conflict. 4. Now, it's time for a solution. Make a list of possible solutions. Try to think outside the box on this, because that may be where you'll come up with the perfect solution. Which solution makes the most sense? What are you willing to do to put this thing behind you? What is your next step? Pick a solution and move forward with it. Don't look back. Remember, it's not about being right or wrong - it's about getting rid of what's not working. Let go of the stress of the conflict - you don't need it. It's time to move on... Copyright 2006 Wendi Moore-Buysse |
