These days how many ways do we have to "talk" to each other? Instant messaging, mobile text messaging, email, cell phones, Skype, and so on. But are we really communicating?

The problem with most of these methods is that they are ad-hoc methods of communication. So how many ways can you remind your teen/child to ____ (fill in the blank)? In addition to yelling out the reminders, we now resort to IM, cell phones, text messaging, GPS tracking, and so on.

Aren't these tools supposed to make life simpler? Our intentions are good, but we strain our relationships and get accused of nagging instead of spending quality time together and making life more meaningful.

If you want to improve your quality of life, you need to look at how you're communicating with your crew first. You're stuck with managing your crew, and sometimes you might think it's a thankless job, but your leadership can really improve things.

Good leaders have a vision of what success is, and can effectively communicate that vision to their teams. How you communicate that vision is as important as having that vision first. What's your vision for your family? Does your family know that? They hear your requests for them to do some things, but have you communicated what your vision is of happiness? Have you sold them on that vision?

Also, reflect on the following questions:

• Do you like to be told what to do?
• When someone is giving you a task, what tone would put you in the most favorable mood to perform that task?
• Do you like to have some advance notice of things to be done?
• When you're tired or hungry, how well do you take orders?

If you're like most people, you don't like to be told what to do, you'd like to be asked nicely, you'd really appreciate a good amount of advance notice, and you don't take orders well when you're tired or hungry. These rules apply even if you're the worst procrastinator " ? you're only human.

Take these thoughts into consideration as you're asking your family members to get their chores or honey-do lists done. Make a plan. Give them advance notice. Remind them gently and infrequently. You have a much better chance of your crew pulling in for you over time, and of achieving familial bliss.

Some computer programs such as the one my company, Mediabee, makes can help you do this in a nice way.

2006 by Saro Saravanan.